Quake, Rattle and Roll

A young oak on my land with Mallwyd mountain behind

I consider myself something of a connoisseur of church weddings, having been to so many of them. During my twenties many of my friends, both from university and those I'd made subsequently, decided the time was right to declare public vows of lifelong commitment to another human being in a place of Christian worship. In fact by my thirties I found that the number of my friends remaining unmarried I could count on my toes without running out of feet (something I do from time to time when at a loose end). As most of them had also produced a number of progeny by that point, Christmas cards were getting trickier as the names of the various children all had to be matched to the right parents in the correct card.  Writing “To my friend, his/her spouse and all their dependants” in all of them turned out not to be acceptable. Of course at the age of 34 I myself joined the ranks of the married for a brief period but that's another story.

So to accept an invitation to a Quaker wedding was to step slightly out of my comfort zone. My friends Matt and Mary, both of whom I met at Pilsdon Community when we were all living there in 2012, had been regularly attending a Quaker meeting for some time and so it was natural for them to have their marriage solemnised there, according to Quaker customs.

The day chosen was Saturday just gone. All such trappings as an officiating priest, hymns, music of any kind, procession down the aisle, sermon, best man fumbling for a ring, were dispensed with. Everyone filed into the room past a sign requiring absolute silence and sat on chairs arranged in concentric circles around a table. The room was full, maybe a hundred souls were there. Both bride and groom were absent until 11am when they walked in together with their family members and sat near to the table on reserved seats. As I'm aware that there may be people reading this blog who just have to know, I will simply remark that Mary's dress was beautiful and simple, a colourful floral pattern overlaid on a dark background. Matt's dress was different.

A small woman stood up, gave a general welcome and briefly explained the format of the proceedings. There was then silence. Five or ten minutes later the happy couple stood up, faced each other and first Mary spoke her vows to Matt and accepted a ring onto her finger and a kiss; then Matt said his (identical) vows to Mary and received his ring from her and another kiss. They sat down. Some were already in tears. There was then a period of perhaps forty minutes when anyone was allowed to speak out words they felt appropriate to the moment. Family members, friends of many years and more recent friends, spoke words of blessing, encouragement and sometimes humour. It was quite an emotionally charged atmosphere as the depth of people's feelings for the couple were given voice in many differing ways.

Finally the registrar stood up and had Matt and Mary sign the large certificate that was laid out on the table, but not before she read out what was written on it. It included the vows, word for word. Parents signed it too then everyone in the hall was asked to add their name to it. And that was it – once you had scrawled your name it was time for drinks, sandwiches and cakes out in the exquisite flower garden under a bold blue sky, and the festivities began.

Matt and Mary have been of so much help to me as I've started up my new life in a Welsh bog – you can check back on this blog to find them assisting me with positioning the caravan and building a compost toilet right back at the beginning in March 2013, and constructing the greenhouse frame and a wood-store last September. Not only that but they phone me up each week to make sure I haven't succumbed to the madness which apparently lurks close by those who live solitary existences (they tell me there's no sign of it yet.)  If any couple deserve a wonderful, enriching and life-long relationship, they do.

P.S. The nettle beer I made two weeks ago turned out fairly sweet but very quaffable and it hasn't killed me yet.

P.P.S Apologies for the lack of wedding photos, I forgot my camera, but here's an up-to-date video of my garden in recompense.