Pump Up The Volume

Pont Wrysgren, not far to the west of my land

The expression usually employed to describe what the state must do to prevent civilisation from crumbling into chaos is to "keep the lights on." I'm not sure this is the best choice of phrase as the great British public would no doubt quickly adapt to their light switches not working with matches and carefully-arranged candles. The romantic atmosphere thus created in millions of front rooms across the land, coupled with the absence of TV or XBox, may in fact help to rekindle long-lost passions and reduce the divorce rate (and increase the birth rate).

No, the phrase I submit to be more fitting is to "keep the water flowing." If the tap in every kitchen sink, bath, washbasin and shower across the country ran dry, within a week we would have spiralled down into a Mad Max post-apocalyptic nightmare. To put it bluntly, we'd all stink. Sales of concentrated fruit drinks would plummet. Those lucky few who have private supplies from springs or boreholes would be regarded as gods with their fresh-smelling clothes and their shiny-scrubbed faces, and would no doubt eventually take control and form the world's first washed-ocracy..

My taps don't work. Last Saturday my faltering water pump, which sits inside the water barrel outside my caravan, finally gave up the ghost. Taking it apart and putting it back together did not help. I was about to descend into my own personal Max Max post-apocalyptic nightmare. The only way to wash up would be to fetch a bucket of water from the stream, 70m away, and my bucket leaks. No more hot water either (the pump fills the caravan's water heater). Things were looking grim. 

By an extraordinary coincidence however, for which I am quite prepared to offer a thank you to Him Who Orchestrates Coincidences, last Saturday was also the day my parents arrived for a week's holiday in a cottage in Mallwyd, my local village. It has running water. I have not had to do any cooking or washing up in my caravan this week. And that same day I ordered a replacement pump online for £27 which, having paid a £4 surcharge for "express" delivery, arrived on Tuesday. The next day my dad and I figured out how to detach the failed pump from its long tube and attach the new one, not as simple a task as you might hope. We popped it in the barrel and turned on the power.

All this while I didn't know whether it was the pump at fault or if it was something wrong with the socket connection, so I was mightily relieved when (a) the pump whirred into life and (b) water came out of the taps. However when the tap was turned off, the pump kept pumping. And pumping. I had to power off the pump before the caravan exploded like a water balloon. Unscrewing the socket plate causes water to burst out for a while. Not knowing much about these things, my guess is that for some reason the pressure switch inside the socket is not being depressed so the pump keeps on forcing more and more water into the caravan.

So I have a partial solution now since whenever I need water I can manually switch the pump on and off with a switch inside the caravan, but if any of you have some working knowledge of these arcane systems, your wise words of advice would fall upon very receptive and grateful ears.